Who is in control of your life?
I hope you are fully engaged in being the best you that you can be leading your life by studying the Word, problem solving, and receiving the blessings God has just for you.
Let’s begin today’s blog by discussing how we should seek leadership when finding a mate or strengthening our current relationships.
I was blessed to witness the 50th Wedding Anniversary celebration of my parents. The reception room at the hotel appeared tiny, but it was full of guests. Family members I knew and some I didn’t know filled the room to congratulate my parents Golden Anniversary.
I remember my parents being so delighted because of this surprise gathering bringing so many friend and family members together. The one thing I don’t remember is either of them taking their seat to enjoy the dinner that was prepared. They made it a point to embrace and chat with every guest at the party.
I was young and too freshly married to understand the significance of the occasions. Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever experienced a unique situation in your past, only to discover its true rarity later?
Watching my parents then, I knew they were happy and that was all that mattered. Today, when I look back on the pictures of the 50th anniversary, I understand that my parents “Got It.” Both of them had a 10th grade education. Not only did they survive, but they practically did the impossible by staying married for more than 50 years. Following this great celebration, my father passed about a year later. Although my father and mother are no longer with us, they have been and will always be a great source of inspiration.
Before I can begin to discuss how I remained married and gave birth to four remarkable human beings, I can only reflect on the model I saw everyday of my childhood and early adult life. They understood what it took to weather their marital storms and stayed committed to each in the midst of their challenges. They found a way to work things out by communicating and having compassion for the needs of themselves and others.
My father worked nights at he factory and my mother did day work (maid service) by ironing clothes for a living. I remember people dropping off and picking up their clothes my mother had freshly pressed. Once I asked her, “Mom, do you ever sleep?” When I went to bed she was ironing and when I woke up she was ironing. Before I went to bed, she would make me read a book while she was ironing. While I was at school, she cleaned homes.
I never heard words or phrases such as, “I’m tired” or “I don’t want to work today.” They worked without complaining because that was what they did. It was a way of life. They would make the time to talk with each other and would excuse the children because back then children didn’t listen to grown folk’s business. My mother would often enlighten me on how I needed to interact with men. Here are just a few pieces of instruction, which helped me lead my life with dignity.
1. “If a man will not work, don’t give him a second look. Say hello and keep on walking.”
2. “If a man is always in the mirror looking at self instead of paying attention to you; leave him with his mirror.”
3. “Never be without money in your purse. Have enough money for a cab or phone call.” (As you can see that was before advancements with cell phones.)
4. ”If a man doesn’t respect his mother, he will never love and respect you.”
5. “If a man will cheat on his wife with you. He will turn around and cheat on you if you get involved with him.”
6. “Don’t take any wooden nickels.”
It was a daily feeding of communication in what to look for in a man while dating. Although I was young when I was married, these jewels from my mother rung clear in my mind when I was dating. It got to the point she didn’t have to go through all the jewels, she would just look at the fellow she thought wasn’t compatible to me and say, “Don’t take any wooden nickels.”
Many of these same jewels I shared with my daughter, and anyone else who will listen.
Discover those things or people wasting your time and replace it with something of substance.
“Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.” - Colossians 2:8
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